Today I am here to discuss a twagedy that my momma may not ever recover from.
Yoo know how she had dozens of raccoons, and possums, and a few ground hogs at our house back in Southaven? For years she tossed peanuts and dog kibbies, and sometimes the neighbors would drop off leftover donuts and pizza- although I have yet to see any leftover pizza in our house cuz my daddy does not stop eating until the last piece is gone - out our back door to where the furry children of Mother Nature thankfully awaited their meals. It took her a couple years to wean the raccoons off of the free meals, but she did right before we moved last year.
She lived in the field surrounding our neighborhood in Mississippi when we moved there in 2006. All the homes were brand new, and as each family moved in, we collectively became a larger family, making memories often on the driveways after work accompanied by wine and laughter.
Almost immediately word got out that a community of cats lived nearby, as they approached each homeowner for handouts. Of course I was a sucker for anyone homeless, and left out kibble and fresh water for the needy. And, of course, that brought in the gang of raccoons, but that's another story.
I'd moved to Southaven with nine cats from Kentucky. There had been a barn on the corner where too many unwanted cats congregated, and I adopted those who found me, among them Herman.
Today is Tuesday, and I'm feeling distwessed.
First of all, I hope yoo are experiencing fresh air and sunshine now that Spring has sprung.
At my house Daddy purrchased flowers in blue and yellow and pink to brighten up our front porch. Those are Momma's favorite colors, and make her happy. Daddy says if color makes Momma happy, then by gosh he's going to buy every blue, yellow and pink colored flower he can find.
Now that I've got the pleasantries out of the way, back to me feeling distwessed.
Yoo see, because of the restwaining odor I have against He Who Must Not Be Tolerated, I am locked in my castle suite while he runs amok throughout the house. This is not fair. It should be HWMNBT locked up all day while I run amok. However, there's a rumor going around that he had a Freedom During the Day clause put into his adoption contwact.
This amokness is wearing down my pawrents because I hear screams of outrage coming from those not locked in my castle suite with me. Usually Fwank.
I tell Fwank to use his training as a lethal street thug on AssWabbit and shiv him, but Fwank says Momma won't allow him to use his claws. So sad.
I love my cozy kitteh cottage with it's foot-and-a-half-high ceiling, woomy interior, kitchenette and central air. It has not only a door but also a window. During the winter I had a lovely fur rug, but now in the spring the rug is replaced with a Tempurr Pedic mattwess. Purrfect for me to welax on.
However, evfurrybody wants it.
Including me!
But I can't get into it because after bweakfast there is a mad rush for the bedwoom.
Just this morning I saw chunky butt Opie hip-check sweet KC aside to grab my cottage. However, Opie forgot he had to pee, and when he left, KC grabbed my cottage for himself.
And when I do get to my cottage first, I have to deal with remnants of the last purrson who used it. Yesterday it was Peaches, who has the gross habit of sneezing thick boogies into the walls.
Momma did order more cottages, but they are different and my cottage is still the numpurr one favorite.
There is no solution to my predicament, sad to say. But I strongly urge yoo to write to yoor congwessman to ask them to file an amendment to Turkish Van adoption contracts, section IV, paragwaph 8 where it stipulates these ruthless purrveyors of anguish and destwuction must be given freedom during the day, and plead with them to change it to No Freedom During the Day.
I wepeat: NO Freedom During the Day.
If yoo do, yoo will forever have my sincere gratitude.
Sincerely,
Dori
