Hello Frens, this is Dori. *wavy paws*
Today is Tuesday, and I'm feeling distwessed.
First of all, I hope yoo are experiencing fresh air and sunshine now that Spring has sprung.
At my house Daddy purrchased flowers in blue and yellow and pink to brighten up our front porch. Those are Momma's favorite colors, and make her happy. Daddy says if color makes Momma happy, then by gosh he's going to buy every blue, yellow and pink colored flower he can find.
Now that I've got the pleasantries out of the way, back to me feeling distwessed.
Yoo see, because of the restwaining odor I have against He Who Must Not Be Tolerated, I am locked in my castle suite while he runs amok throughout the house. This is not fair. It should be HWMNBT locked up all day while I run amok. However, there's a rumor going around that he had a Freedom During the Day clause put into his adoption contwact.
This amokness is wearing down my pawrents because I hear screams of outrage coming from those not locked in my castle suite with me. Usually Fwank.
I tell Fwank to use his training as a lethal street thug on AssWabbit and shiv him, but Fwank says Momma won't allow him to use his claws. So sad.
I love my momma dearly, but as she clearly does not have the situation under control, I must remain on lockdown . And with the majority of my fursibs sharing my suite, I am in danger of losing sleeping rights to my cozy kitteh cottage, given to me by Santa Claus.
I love my cozy kitteh cottage with it's foot-and-a-half-high ceiling, woomy interior, kitchenette and central air. It has not only a door but also a window. During the winter I had a lovely fur rug, but now in the spring the rug is replaced with a Tempurr Pedic mattwess. Purrfect for me to welax on.
However, evfurrybody wants it.
Including me!
But I can't get into it because after bweakfast there is a mad rush for the bedwoom.
Just this morning I saw chunky butt Opie hip-check sweet KC aside to grab my cottage. However, Opie forgot he had to pee, and when he left, KC grabbed my cottage for himself.
And when I do get to my cottage first, I have to deal with remnants of the last purrson who used it. Yesterday it was Peaches, who has the gross habit of sneezing thick boogies into the walls.
Momma did order more cottages, but they are different and my cottage is still the numpurr one favorite.
There is no solution to my predicament, sad to say. But I strongly urge yoo to write to yoor congwessman to ask them to file an amendment to Turkish Van adoption contracts, section IV, paragwaph 8 where it stipulates these ruthless purrveyors of anguish and destwuction must be given freedom during the day, and plead with them to change it to No Freedom During the Day.
I wepeat: NO Freedom During the Day.
If yoo do, yoo will forever have my sincere gratitude.
Sincerely,
Dori
Until Next Time...
